Michael Jackson once claimed that Tatum O’Neal, his first girlfriend, was the person he first became intimate with. Years later, she shocked the world by revealing the truth in her book.

In 1963, Hollywood rejoiced at the birth of a baby girl: Tatum O’Neal, daughter of famous actors Ryan O’Neal and Joanna Moore. Living what seemed like a real-life happy ending, the couple welcomed another child, a boy named Griffin, only a year later. But behind the scenes, the marriage was turbulent. Tempers flared, personalities clashed, and Tatum and Griffin found themselves caught in the crossfire.

What began as a fairy-tale romance between two high-profile celebrities quickly soured. Within just four years, the relationship had completely deteriorated. By 1967, Tatum’s parents secured a divorce, and her mother was awarded sole custody of both children. But Joanna Moore wasn’t nearly as fit to be a mother as she appeared.

Moore struggled with addiction, and her choices turned Tatum O’Neal’s childhood into a waking nightmare. Tatum watched her mother lose herself to substances and alcohol. Perhaps most shocking are Tatum’s accounts of starvation: she and Griffin were not properly fed or clothed and suffered deeply from neglect. In one disturbing incident, trapped in a garage, the two resorted to eating dog food in order to stay alive.

The horrors didn’t stop there. Moore never actually “mothered” her children and often left them unsupervised. They did whatever they wanted—playing with fire, jumping off roofs, and sometimes running away from home. As Tatum later recalled, “We went to the bathroom on the floor. We did a lot of crazy things because we didn’t have any guidance at all.”

On top of that, Tatum suffered traumatic experiences involving her mother’s boyfriend. The physical and emotional toll of her upbringing was unspeakable. She didn’t go to school. Nobody fed her. Nobody offered her real love. Still, there was one thing she clung to: hope for her father.

In 1970, Joanna Moore finally lost custody of her children. Beyond this loss, she never truly regained her sobriety. After the separation, Tatum and her brother were sent to live with their father, Ryan O’Neal. At first, things seemed to be looking up. He was more attentive than their mother had ever been. Maybe at last, Tatum would have the childhood she’d dreamed of—or so it seemed.

Ryan started taking his kids everywhere he went. Unfortunately, that didn’t shield them from his Playboy, celebrity lifestyle. Ryan O’Neal liked women and vices, and his daughter was exposed to a very adult world far too early. On top of that, he had a temper, and Tatum often found herself on the receiving end. She had escaped one dysfunctional home only to end up in another.

If there was one thing Ryan O’Neal did have, it was influence in the acting world. That world would change Tatum’s life forever. When he recommended her for the role of Addie in *Paper Moon*, she won the part and broke into the industry. Working alongside her father was supposed to be the perfect bonding opportunity. In reality, it was anything but.

Tatum O’Neal was a revelation in *Paper Moon*. Her performance was so strong that she outshone her father in scene after scene. Instead of being proud, Ryan was jealous. He couldn’t stand being upstaged by his own child. Tatum later admitted that the film destroyed her relationship with her father.

When *Paper Moon* premiered, praise for Tatum’s performance hung in the air. Nobody was talking about Ryan. He wasn’t the center of attention anymore. Then came the record-breaking moment: Tatum received an Oscar nomination and went on to win, becoming the youngest person ever to win a competitive Academy Award.

At her first Oscar ceremony, O’Neal sported a trendy pixie cut and a sharp suit. But that haircut wasn’t exactly her choice. When Ryan flew to Europe to film *Barry Lyndon*, he left her with Stanley Kubrick’s family—not for a few days, but for an entire year. While playing in the bath, Kubrick’s daughter Vivian cut off Tatum’s hair. With no other option, Tatum attended the Oscars with a completely new look.

Throughout her childhood, Ryan took her to adult parties no young girl should have been attending. She went wherever he went, including the Playboy Mansion. Her exposure to this world forced her to grow up fast and left her with trauma that followed her into adulthood. She was desperate for someone to truly connect with.

Feeling lost in the void created by her parents’ inattention, she sought friendship. When she traveled to Europe with Ryan for his role in *A Bridge Too Far*, Tatum brought along one of her closest friends at the time, Melanie Griffith. Naively, she believed she’d found a true best friend. What she didn’t know was that Melanie had an entirely different agenda.

Unbeknownst to Tatum, Melanie and Ryan were drawn to each other. Her “best friend” had come to Europe not for Tatum, but for her father. When Tatum realized Melanie was spending more time with Ryan than with her, she was overwhelmed by feelings of betrayal. Heartbroken, she made a shocking decision.

After discovering the relationship between her father and her friend, Tatum felt utterly alone. She decided to end her life. When that attempt failed, she turned to drugs. Growing up in Ryan’s world, she knew exactly where to find them: through his friends. But the man she went to was not safe, and her plan went horribly wrong.

Although she managed to get the substances she was seeking, her father’s friend assaulted her. Tragically, this wasn’t her first traumatic encounter with men. Earlier in her life, while still living with her mother, Joanna’s boyfriend had also tried to assault her. In later years, Tatum blamed these incidents on neglect and the chaos caused by her parents’ addictions.

Neglect was all Tatum knew, and as she grew older, it defined the emptiness of her home life. As a teenager filming *International Velvet*, she lost her virginity on set to a crew member. Disturbingly, he was 16 years older than she was. With no reliable parent to turn to and constantly surrounded by adults, Tatum had a warped sense of what a romantic relationship looked like.

“I didn’t understand the difference in our ages,” she later said. “I thought it was something along the lines of: this is what people do.” Tatum O’Neal’s next high-profile relationship was with fiery tennis star John McEnroe. They met in 1984, and she quickly moved into his New York apartment. But their romance was anything but calm.

Both of them dove deep into partying, and John’s famous temper didn’t help. After they married in 1986, Tatum and John’s relationship became a roller coaster of highs and lows. Their happy moments included the birth of three children—Emily, Sean, and Kevin—but Tatum’s ongoing struggle with drug addiction constantly undermined their home life.

Arguments were frequent and intense. Eventually, John reached the end of his rope. After six years of marriage, they separated and finalized their divorce in 1994. In the years that followed, Tatum slipped further into addiction. Her behavior raised serious questions about whether she was fit for motherhood.

Tatum’s children learned to recognize when their mother was high—and stayed away. Things took a darker turn when 7-year-old Emily found drug paraphernalia in her apartment. In a 2015 interview, her son Sean spoke about what it was like growing up with Tatum. “I would lock myself in my room because it was hard to be around her not acting like herself. I had a hard time speaking about it, and I shut down.”

In the end, like her own mother before her, Tatum paid the ultimate price for exposing her children to drugs. In 1998, she lost custody of them for reasons not unlike those that had cost Joanna Moore her kids. But Tatum wasn’t ready to completely repeat her mother’s story. She vowed to get her children back.

She worked hard to get clean and eventually regained partial custody. Tatum had a lot of lost time to make up for and dedicated years to rebuilding her bond with her children. But there was still one person she continued to clash with: her ex-husband. In his memoir *You Cannot Be Serious*, John McEnroe exposed intimate details about their relationship.

He described how they were both high the first time they slept together and shared more about her excessive drug use. When Tatum heard about the book, she fired back by accusing him of using steroids. Still, there’s a fine line between love and hate. In retrospect, Tatum admitted to having regrets.

In a 2020 interview with *CBS Sunday Morning*, she confessed she still held a flame for her ex-husband. “The happiest times of my life were times that I was married. I was loved. I was cared for. I’ve never met anyone that even comes close to my ex-husband.”

After winning her Oscar in 1974, Tatum acted in films like *The Bad News Bears* and *International Velvet*. But by the mid-1980s, her career stalled. She wasn’t landing the roles she wanted and ended up taking smaller parts on television. She appeared on *Sex and the City*, *Criminal Minds*, and *Law & Order*, but nothing matched her early fame.

In 2004, she finally found steady work with a recurring role on *Rescue Me*, a dark comedy-drama starring Denis Leary. The show ran for seven seasons, and critics praised her performance as Maggie Gavin, an alcoholic. The role hit close to home, but it looked like her darkest days were behind her. Unfortunately, addiction’s shadow still lingered.

In 2008, Tatum hit another low. News of her scandalous arrest splashed across tabloids after officers found illegal substances in her pockets just blocks from her Manhattan home. That’s when her story began to spiral again. Her explanation was confusing and inconsistent, and no one seemed sure where the truth began or ended.

At first, Tatum claimed she’d bought the drugs as “research” for an acting role. When that excuse fell flat, she changed her tone and thanked the police for stopping her and preventing a relapse, calling the incident a “close call.” Even so, she faced criminal charges and agreed to enter a treatment program. Over the following months, she confronted her demons and the humiliation of relapse.

Back in 2001, when Tatum released her memoir *A Paper Life*, her allegations against her father didn’t sit well with him. Ryan O’Neal insisted she’d had a happy childhood and that he’d been, if not perfect, at least a decent parent. In his official statement, he said, “It is a sad day when malicious lies are told in order to become a bestseller.”

For years, father and daughter remained estranged. Then Oprah entered the picture. In 2011, Oprah’s network OWN aired a reality series called *Ryan and Tatum: The O’Neals*. The show focused on their troubled relationship and followed their attempts at reconciliation. The premise was simple but emotionally risky: could these two estranged people find a way to mend their bond?

On the surface, it seemed promising. Behind the scenes, not everyone was enthusiastic. One of the most vocal critics was Tatum’s ex-husband. Concerned about their children, he wanted them to have no involvement in the show. In an interview with Wendy Williams, McEnroe called the series “an accident waiting to happen.”

No stranger to Tatum’s painful childhood stories, McEnroe saw disaster coming—and he was right. To promote the show, Tatum also released a second memoir, *Found: A Daughter’s Journey Home*. It revisited familiar territory but with a focus on her recent efforts to reconnect with Ryan. Their “happy reunion” made for a tidy narrative. The reality was far messier.

By September 2011, the truth emerged: Tatum and Ryan hadn’t resolved their issues. In fact, Ryan later claimed the show only made things worse. “Did I open up? I tried,” he said. “Does Tatum like me any better? No. So what’s the point?” There was no second season in the works. Their relationship remained fraught and fragile.

Tatum O’Neal has three brothers: Griffin, with whom she grew up, and two half-brothers, Patrick and Redmond. Sadly, her relationships with all of them have been turbulent and distant. For a time, Griffin helped corroborate Tatum’s stories about their traumatic childhood and volatile father. But in 2015, he revealed that he no longer spoke to her.

He wasn’t alone. Her brother Patrick has said he wishes Tatum had never written any of her memoirs. He insists her accounts of their father don’t match his own experience. That fundamental disagreement kept them from ever forming a strong sibling bond, and they remain distant. Perhaps the saddest case of all is her youngest brother, Redmond.

Redmond O’Neal’s life is a grim echo of his sister’s struggles. Like Tatum, he became addicted to drugs at a young age. In and out of rehab, he showed little sign of lasting recovery. Tatum tried to reach out and help but eventually concluded her efforts were futile. “From what I’ve seen, there is no way he is going to survive,” she said.

Her fears were partially borne out when Redmond was incarcerated in 2018 for armed robbery and attempted murder. And then there’s one more story about Tatum O’Neal that’s become part of pop culture lore. As a young teen, she caught the eye of a very famous rising star: 17-year-old Michael Jackson.

Tatum and Jackson formed a close friendship, spending hours on the phone, embodying all the awkwardness and innocence of adolescence. They even went to the legendary Studio 54 together. But when it came to romance, the two of them weren’t exactly on the same wavelength. They dated briefly, but when Jackson expressed a desire to take things to a more intimate level, Tatum pulled away. She was still very young and didn’t feel ready.

Despite their youth, the brief relationship left a lasting impression on Jackson. In a 2001 interview, he reminisced about Tatum, saying, “I was like in heaven. It was the most magical thing.” But that wasn’t all. Jackson later reframed the story and made some controversial claims.

He said he had lost his virginity to Tatum. He also claimed that she was the seducer who tried to push their relationship further and that he was the one who was afraid of intimacy. This version directly contradicted Tatum’s own memories. In her 2004 autobiography, she flatly denied his account and insisted they had never even slept together.

And that, in all its turbulence, is the story of Tatum O’Neal—a child star whose early brilliance was shadowed by neglect, addiction, and complicated relationships, but who has spent her adult life trying, again and again, to rewrite her own ending.

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